Last post I suggested that the 13 Middos haRachamim are featured in Selichos as a Mussar practice, a way to go beyond memorizing the 13 aspects of Hashem’s Compassion that we are to emulate, to the point of them having emotional impact. And I concluded with something that ended up a bit of a teaser for the “list I made for in Aseres Yemei Teshuvah Reader.. Unsurprisingly, I first break the list down into four groups…”

Well, here is a shortened version of that list of Middos, more suitable when we are focusing just on the words we’re saying.

It is based (sometimes loosely) on Rabbenu Tam’s understanding of the 13 Middos (RH 17b), which is the explanation most often taught in schools, discussed in sermons, etc… The division into four is motivated by the trop and how Hashem used the connective vavs (meaning “and”). It is particularly interesting because as we’ve seen before, four is associated with the ways we experience Hashem’s gifts. But here, it also fits the trop and the use of connective vavs.

Set 1: Before the Sin, After the Sin

The gemara writes, “‘Hashem, Hashem’ – He is the G-d of Mercy before one sins, and the G-d of Mercy after one sins and repents.” Rashi explains that even though Hashem knows that we are going to sin, He still shows us mercy. How much more so we, who do not know how relationships will turn out, need to show kindness. It’s sometimes difficult to be kind to someone we haven’t yet met, someone with whom we do not yet have a history.

Set 2: Sharing All That You Have

“Keil” – Even though it’s related to the name “Elokim”, which denotes Divine Justice, “Keil” refers to His Mercy. As a different gemara points out, David cries “Keili Keili, lamah azavtani – My G-d, my G-d, why have You abandoned me?”

“Rachum” – The root of the word “rachum” is “rechem”, womb. Rachamim is mercy and empathy as it derives from maternal compassion. (Queue Rav Shimon Shkop’s notion of axpanding my “ani” here.)

“VeChanun” – undeserved kindness. It is listed here with the prefix “ve”, and, because it is a further development of the theme introduced by “Rachum”. Our love for ourselves is also unconditional and doesn’t need to be earned. Do we give to others simply, as a child would say, “because”?

Section 3: Tolerance vs. Enabling

“Erech apayim” – slow to anger. Hashem gives us opportunity to do teshuvah. How often do we make snap judgments, losing our temper before knowing all the facts, before seeing the situation from the others’ perspective, without taking into account that they too are human and can err?

“VeRav chesed” – Chesed, the simple giving of One Who has to the one who has not.

“VeEmes” – Truth. Chesed and emes are often at odds. When someone does something wrong, emes requires that he live with the consequences of his actions. Chesed would have us protect him from them. When it comes to atzmi, to I myself, I want chessed. I look at the excuses and dodge blame. I am not wrong, I am flawed. When it comes to others, we are more likely to insist on emes. Evil! Destructive! Root it out! The key to Divine Tov, Divine Good, is to know the proper synthesis of chessed and emes.

Set 4: Counting the Gifts, Not the Hurts

“Notzeir chesed la’alafim” – Hashem keeps kindness for thousands. Hakaras hatov, acknowledging and recognizing the good that others do for us, requires not only crediting them for their actions, but also for the myriads of consequences of those actions, and the consequences of those consequences, etc…. Evil, on the other hand, is destructive and therefore self-destructive. Hashem rewards good for the thousandth generation, as the impact of the good trickles down through time. But we. when relating to other people, more readily drudge up past wrongs than past favors. To master hakaras hatov we need to reverse that tendency.

“Nosei avon” – He Who carries intentional sin. Hashem loves us even when our values do not align with His, when we choose sin.

“Vafesha” – He also carries our burden of careless sin. The one who commits an avon has concern for G-d. even if doing something worse by willfully sinning. The poshei’ah is in another way further off the mark by being apathetic about something Hashem considers significant.

“Vachata’ah” – And Hashem even maintains His love for us during a moment of rebellion against Him.

“Venakeih” – Hashem cleanses. Even when He punishes, the purpose of the punishment is not revenge or somehow balancing the ledger. His punishment cleans the effects of our actions for us. Do we take vengeance, or focus on making the world a better place?